Toddler Tip Tuesday: What to Do to Survive the "It’s Mine!" Phase With Your Toddler
"It’s mine!"
The battle cry of toddlers everywhere.
The other day, I watched my daughter snatch a plastic banana from her baby brother’s hand and yell,
"MINE!"
Then came the chaos.
Screaming.
Tears (his and hers).
And me standing there wondering if I should referee or hide in the pantry.
If your toddler has suddenly started claiming everything in sight like they’re preparing for toddler world domination… you’re not alone.
This phase?
It’s real. It’s loud.
And yes, it’s totally normal.
Why the “It’s Mine” Phase Happens
Toddlers aren’t selfish.
They’re not mean.
They’re not “bad sharers.”
They’re just… two, three, and four.
And developmentally, they’re smack in the middle of learning three really big things:
👉 Ownership: “I exist, I have things, and I control them!”
👉 Independence: “This belongs to me, and I say what happens to it!”
👉 Insecurity: “If you take it… do I still get it back?”
✅ Key takeaway:
"It’s mine!" isn’t just about toys.
It’s your toddler working through identity, control, and security… loudly.
How to Handle the “It’s Mine!” Phase Without Losing Your Mind
Here’s a simple step-by-step plan to survive this phase while still teaching empathy and boundaries:
Step 1: Stay Calm and Narrate the Situation
Your toddler is still learning what’s okay.
Use calm, clear narration:
"You’re saying ‘It’s mine!’ because you really wanted that toy back."
This helps them feel heard and begins to build awareness.
Step 2: Validate the Feeling, Not the Behavior
Don’t shut it down. Acknowledge it.
"You really love that toy and didn’t want to share it. That’s hard."
Connection first makes correction easier.
Step 3: Set a Gentle Boundary
After validation, set a limit.
"We don’t grab. If you want it back, you can ask: ‘Can I have a turn please?’”
(And yes, you’ll say it 200 times. That’s toddlerhood.)
Step 4: Practice Turn-Taking (Even With Timers)
For older toddlers, use a visual timer:
"You play for 2 minutes, then it’s their turn."
They learn sharing isn’t losing… it’s waiting.
Step 5: Model the Language You Want to Hear
Show them what to say with simple phrases:
“Can I have a turn?”
“Let’s trade!”
“When you’re done, can I play?”
Toddlers repeat what they hear often.
Troubleshooting: When “It’s Mine!” Escalates
✅ If Your Toddler Melts Down:
Hold the boundary calmly:
"You can be upset, but we don’t hit or grab. I’ll help you wait."
✅ If They Grab Everything in Sight (Even at Playdates):
Prep before you go:
"Some toys won’t be ours. We can touch, but we can’t take."
Bring a comfort toy from home if needed.
✅ If Sharing Feels Impossible:
Try rotating toys, limiting options, and giving solo play time first.
Less overwhelm = more success.
Your Quick-Start Plan for This Week
✅ Today: Narrate “It’s mine!” moments calmly.
✅ Tomorrow: Introduce one go-to phrase like, “Can I have a turn?”
✅ This Week: Practice turn-taking with a timer once a day.
✅ Going Forward: Keep validating feelings + modeling language, even when it feels repetitive.
Final Thoughts: They’re Not Being Mean… They’re Growing
This phase isn’t about rudeness.
It’s about learning how to have something... and let it go safely.
And just like walking, talking, or eating with a spoon, learning to share takes time, practice, and patience.
You’re not doing it wrong.
Your toddler’s not behind.
You’re both just in it together.
💛 Deep breath, mama. This phase will pass and you’re guiding them through it beautifully.
Question for You 👉:
What’s the most unexpected or hilarious thing your toddler has claimed with “MINE!” lately? A spoon? Your coffee? The moon? 😂
Tag me @raisingmyteenagedtoddler I want to hear it!
