Toddler Tip Tuesday: How to Get Your Toddler to Actually Listen (Without Losing Your Voice)
Talking to a Wall... or a Toddler?
The other day, I asked my toddler to put on her shoes.
Nothing.
Not even a blink.
So I asked again. Louder.
Still nothing, unless you count her gleefully launching a toy truck across the room. 😅
At that point, I wondered if I had suddenly become invisible.
(Or maybe just background noise, like the dishwasher.)
If you’ve ever felt like you're talking to a brick wall when giving your toddler directions, you are so not alone.
But here’s the good news:
It’s not that she’s ignoring you on purpose.
It’s that her brain didn’t register you in the way you hoped.
And once you know how to actually get through?
Game. Changer.
Why Toddlers "Ignore" You (It’s Not What You Think)
Toddlers live in their own little worlds.
They’re building towers.
They’re saving stuffed animals from "lava."
They’re making up entire storylines in their heads.
When we bark instructions from across the room (or even a few feet away), it’s like trying to tune into a radio station that's full of static.
✅ Key takeaway:
It’s not that they don’t want to listen.
It’s that their brain literally doesn’t shift focus unless we connect first.
The Strategy: The 3-Second Connection Rule
Before giving a direction, slow down and connect.
It only takes three seconds, but it makes all the difference.
Here’s how:
Step 1: Gently Touch Her Shoulder
A light touch helps pull her attention from her imaginary world to the real one without startling her.
Step 2: Say Her Name
Not a full sentence.
Just her name. Warm, clear, and gentle.
"Emma."
"Sophie."
Names are like a magic switch that tells the brain, "Hey, something important is happening!"
Step 3: Wait for Eye Contact
Pause.
Breathe.
Wait until she actually looks at you.
(If she doesn't after a few seconds, gently prompt: "Look at Mommy, please.")
Only after eye contact happens do you give the direction.
👉 Short.
👉 Clear.
👉 Simple.
Example:
"Shoes on, please."
"Time to clean up blocks."
No extra lectures. No long explanations.
Just a focused moment of connection first.
Troubleshooting: What If She Still Doesn’t Listen?
✅ If She’s Too Engrossed:
Give a playful warning first:
"One more block, then time to listen."
This eases the transition and sets her up for success.
✅ If She Resists Eye Contact:
Make it a game!
"Can you spot my nose?" or
"I’m hiding a silly face!"
Fun invitations make eye contact feel safe, not stressful.
✅ If You Forget and Yell from Across the Room:
No guilt. Just walk over and try again with connection.
Progress > Perfection. 💛
Your Quick-Start Plan for This Week
✅ Today: Try the 3-Second Connection Rule before giving one simple instruction.
✅ Tomorrow: Notice how much faster your toddler listens when you slow down to connect first.
✅ This Week: Practice short, clear directions after connection (no long lectures).
✅ Going Forward: Make connection-before-direction your new automatic habit.
Final Thoughts: Slow Down to Speed Up
It feels counterintuitive, right?
You’re busy.
You need your toddler to move it along.
You don’t have time to gently tap and wait.
But when you slow down and connect first, you actually get faster cooperation, without the shouting, repeating, or wanting to pull your hair out. 😅
A few seconds of connection now saves you minutes of frustration later.
And honestly?
It feels better… for both of you. 💛
Question for You 👉:
What’s one hilarious or ridiculous thing your toddler was doing the last time you tried to get their attention? 😂 Share it with me, I love hearing your stories!
Tag me on Instagram @raisingmyteenagedtoddler!
