"Maybe Later" Means Never: What My Toddler’s Volcano Cake Request Taught Me About Showing Up

👩‍👧 The Real-Life Mom Moment That Hit Me Hard

It’s been chaotic lately. Two toddlers, summer heat topping 100 degrees, and a never-ending to-do list. Life feels like a juggling act with no intermission.

My daughter, my creative, enthusiastic, always-has-an-idea toddler, has been asking (okay, begging) for weeks to make a chocolate volcano cake that erupts. You know the kind: bake, decorate, pour the “lava,” and watch it ooze down. The kind of toddler baking activity that takes time, energy, and sacrificing both of my 12-month-old’s naps to make it happen.

I kept saying, “Maybe later.”

Until last week, when she looked me dead in the eyes and said,
“Maybe later means never, Mommy.”

No tears. No whining. Just a simple, matter-of-fact truth from a four-year-old who’s been hearing “maybe later” for 112 years, or at least that’s what she also told me and how it felt to her in toddler time.

And… Ouch.
She was right.

🧠 Why “Maybe Later” Hits So Hard for Toddlers

Toddler behavior is often misunderstood, especially when it comes to time. Toddlers don’t grasp adult schedules. They live fully in the now.
So when we say “maybe later” and that later never comes, they hear:

“This doesn’t matter to you.”
“I’m not important enough.”
“You’re always too busy.”

Of course, we know that’s not what we mean. I wasn’t brushing her off to be mean. I was exhausted. Burnt out. Stretched thin.
But from her point of view, my “maybe later” was just a polite version of “No.”

And if I’m being honest? Sometimes “maybe later” really does mean “I can’t handle one more thing today.” And that’s okay.

But this time… this time, I realized something deeper.

She didn’t want to just bake a cake.
She wanted to do something with me.
She wanted to be part of what I love doing… cooking, creating, being in the kitchen.

🍫 Why the Volcano Cake Wasn’t About the Cake

To her, the volcano cake wasn’t a chore. It wasn’t a time suck (like I thought it would be). It wasn’t a messy disaster waiting to happen and that I would have to clean up.

It was magic.
Time together.
A moment to feel seen, heard, and special.

And yes, it was going to take both naps, extra cleanup, and probably a sugar rush I didn’t need, but it was also going to be the memory she’d carry. One of those core childhood moments that stick.

✅ What I’ll Try Next Time (Realistic Mom Goals)

No, I won’t always drop everything the moment she asks for something big. But here’s what I can do:

• Stop using “maybe later” as a default response

• Offer a specific time frame: “Let’s plan it for Saturday after lunch.”

• Say yes more often, even when it’s inconvenient

• Remember that her request isn’t just an activity, it’s a bid for toddler connection

🌋 We Made the Cake (Yes, It Erupted Everywhere)

We did it. We baked the cake.
It was messy, imperfect, hilarious, and a little chaotic.
The lava exploded a little too much. Chocolate ended up in places it should never be.
And she beamed the entire time.

She still talks about it like it was the best day ever.
Because to her… it was.

🛠️ Simple Parenting Shifts That Build Toddler Connection

If your toddler’s been begging to do something big and you keep saying “later,” try this instead:

✨ Reframe “maybe later.”
Try: “Let’s do it after your nap tomorrow.”
(Toddlers thrive on structure and specifics.)

✨ Say yes to what matters.
Even if it means shifting something else around for the day.
(One less load of laundry isn’t the end of the world.)

✨ Invite them into your world.
Let them stir, pour, decorate. Even if it’s slower or messier.
(These toddler baking moments build confidence, connection, and joy. And remember, it’s not about perfection, it’s about presence.)

💬 Final Thought: Toddlers Know When We’re Not Really Listening

If you’ve ever said “maybe later” on autopilot, you’re not alone.

You’re a tired, busy, loving mom trying to get through the day without dropping every ball you’re juggling.

But next time you hear that little voice say,
“Maybe later means never,”
Take a breath. Look up. Say “Yes, let’s make a plan.”

Because the chore you're dreading might just be the core memory your toddler is waiting for.