The Lie I Told My Daughter So I Could Go on a Date Night

💥 The Real-Life Mom Moment That Turned Into a Saga

My husband and I have been together for eight years.

And in that time?
We’ve had two kids, multiple health issues, two sleep-deprived parents… and zero regular date nights.

Like many parents, we just never go out.
We don’t have babysitters. No grandparents nearby. No mom who pops in to give us a break.

It’s just me and my husband.
Always has been.
Even post-surgery. Even during the newborn phase. Even now. It’s only been just us.

So after a really heavy stretch, emotionally, mentally, all of it, we decided we were long overdue for a quiet dinner out.
Nothing fancy. Just something that didn’t involve bibs, booster seats, or cutting food into tiny bites.

Enter: Miss Eileen, our angel neighbor across the street.

She’s watched my kids in emergencies before, and she loves them.
When I asked if she’d be open to watching them for one evening, she didn’t hesitate.
And just like that, we were doing it. A real, actual, honest-to-goodness date.

I was excited.
My daughter was… devastated.

😬 When the Truth Was Too Much

My 4-year-old adores Miss Eileen.

So when I told her Miss Eileen was coming over, she assumed it was to have dinner with us.
Cue the heartbreak when I explained that actually, Mommy and Daddy were going out… without her.

She cried.
She begged.
She clung.

I tried to reason. I tried to comfort.
Eventually, I panicked and told a tiny lie:

“We’re going to a restaurant that only allows grown-ups.”

You know, like the Easter Bunny and Santa and every other gentle fib we sprinkle in for the sake of emotional regulation.

Only this one backfired.
Big time.

“Nooooo! Don’t go to the grown-up restaurant! Go to a kid one!”
She spiraled.
And honestly? So did I.

After much back and forth over several days, with lots of tears, I ended up telling her:
“Sometimes, grown-ups just need a little time to talk and eat together quietly. Just like you need time to play by yourself without your brother, Mommy and Daddy sometimes need time to talk and be alone.”

It wasn’t perfect.
There were still tears.
But later that night… we left, and she didn’t cry.  She was so excited to hang out with her beloved Miss Eileen.

🍽️ A Quiet Dinner, A Warm Chick-fil-A, and a Big Realization

She ended up having a great time.

She and Miss Eileen had Chick-fil-A (which, let’s be honest, is the universal mood fixer).
My son, who always cries when anyone shows up at the house, cried hysterically but calmed down to eat some Chick-fil-A.
We were back in time for bedtime.

And I got to eat a hot meal. Sitting down. With both hands.

But I couldn’t stop thinking about the way I handled it.
Why did I feel the need to lie?
Why didn’t I just explain it honestly from the start?

There’s literally an episode of Bluey where the mom says she just needs a minute to herself.
Why couldn’t I have said that?

💬 Final Thought: Maybe Honesty (Even With Toddlers) Really Is the Best Policy

Here’s what I’m taking from this:

• Toddlers are capable of understanding more than we give them credit for.

• Lying might feel easier in the moment, but it often makes the conversation harder in the long run.

• It’s okay to say:
  “Mommy and Daddy need some quiet time together. It helps us feel happy and connected, and we’ll be back really soon.”
  

It’s simple. It’s true.
And if they still cry? That’s okay too.

Because sometimes, you need to go to the grown-up restaurant.
Sometimes you need to eat warm food and talk to your partner without sippy cups on the table.
And sometimes, you need to remind yourself that it’s okay to have your own needs, even when you're someone else's whole world.

So yes… I lied about the restaurant.
But next time? I think I’ll just tell the truth.

(And order dessert.)