The Sparkle That Was Already There: What a Kids' Spa Day Taught Me About Raising a Daughter

It started with a fluke opening at a place called Sweet & Sassy.
A Mommy & Me spa hour.
Glitter, music, tiny robes, nail polish in every color under the sun.

It wasn’t something I had planned.
But my husband could come home early from work to watch the baby.
And my daughter and I?
We’ve both been carrying around a little extra anxiety lately.
Some big transitions. Big feelings. Big changes.

So we went.
She was nervous.
(So was I, if I’m honest.)
But she pushed through the nerves, let them paint her nails and curl her hair, and by the end, she was beaming.

And then she said it:
“Now I’m pretty.”

💔 And immediately, there was a the lump in my throat.
That’s not what I wanted her to take away from this.
Not at four years old.
Not ever.

🧠 What Was Really Going On

In that moment, I realized just how early these messages start.
The ones about beauty. About appearance. About needing something extra to be enough.

She wasn’t trying to say anything deep or layered.
She was just naming what she sees all around her:
Pretty is nails done. Hair curled. Lip gloss on.
Pretty is extra.

And I couldn’t let that sit.
So I gently said,
“You’re pretty because of your heart. Because you’re kind. Because you’re YOU. The sparkle on your nails is just for fun. But your real sparkle? That’s already inside you.”

I don’t know if she really heard it.
But I had to say it.
I had to start saying it now.

✨ Why This Hit Me So Hard

Because it is so hard to raise a daughter in a world that wants to define her worth by how she looks.
By how polished she is. How cute, how trendy, how put together.

But that’s not the kind of pretty I want her chasing.
I want her to chase kindness.
Bravery.
Joy.
Compassion.
Curiosity.
I want her to believe that she—without nail polish or glitter or sparkly shoes—is already enough.

And more than that?
I want her to believe she’s powerful.

💬 The Truth I’m Still Learning
I didn’t get it perfect in the moment.
I stumbled through the words.
I wasn’t prepared.

But parenting isn’t about perfection.
It’s about those little repair moments.
The chances to say, “Here’s what I really want you to know.”

I can’t stop the world from shouting beauty standards at her.
But I can be the quiet voice reminding her of her worth.
Again and again.

✅ What I’ll Try Next Time (Realistic Mom Goals)

● Use moments like these as teaching tools, not lectures
● Be mindful of my own language around appearance
● Compliment her spirit, not just her style
● Keep reminding her of the sparkle that lives inside

💖 Final Thought: Our Girls Are Watching

They’re listening.
They’re learning what “pretty” means before they even know how to spell it.
And we get to be the ones who redefine it.